I was in serious REM sleep at around 2am this morning. I went to bed early since I went surfing yesterday and my dreams were buttery and nice. Then I had the awful feeling a bug was crawling on me. I opened my eyes and in the blue haze of waking I thought an army of ants was crawling all over my bed. I turned on the light and I realized it was just a hallucination.
Then in a flash I heard the buzzing wings of a waterbug/flying cockroch and as it landed on the opposite side of the bed. I never went from so tired to so awake in my life. Fear was making my heart pound fast but angry made it pound faster. I just changed these sheets, A-hole. And you are about to meet the business end of my Old Navy flipflop.
Since this guy had wings, I was at a disadvantage in my fighting approach, but what he had in wings he lacked in smarts. He decided that heading for my ceiling fan was good idea, but sure enough he got blindsided by the fan blade and fell dumbstruck to my floor. My anger was still pretty hot so I sent the cockroach to the promise land 2 seconds after he landed. Just to be sure I flushed him down the hopper for good measure. My adrenaline was rolling pretty hard after the kill and I was pretty sure he had friends ready to give me trouble. I slept with the light on to scare them off.
Did I mention I finally saw Sin City.